This Week In Wifer History

Hello Wifers!

I go to a blogging conference, where the most important things listed are:  Current content, About Me page, links to social media, easy commenting. What is the first thing I do upon my return? Stop blogging, give out no information, make it hard to comment. But my damn full time job with hookers and my other full time job with kids has been overshadowing my blogging for the past week, because leaving home for two days puts me behind in those categories. I seriously have days where I question what I’ve done to my life.  So I’ve been out of the loop for a week. I’m quite neglectful. I’m going to take the lot of you out for malts and french fries and we can get caught up.

This? This is a Double Fudge Boston from
Whitey’s Ice Cream in the Quad Cities.
It is a Hot Fudge Sundae sitting on top of a hot fudge malt,
prepared by unicorns and the Lucky Charms guy. 
It is pure artery-clogging joy.

 That’s better. In the interest of time, I’m going to summarize the last week.

10/31 – Halloween.  Took Big Bird and Cookie Monster out looking for handouts in the neighborhood, thus proving that times really are tough for PBS.  Raided the candy bag, immediately went into sugar coma.  Was out for days. Delicious, endorphin-filled days of chocolately deliciousness.

11/2 – Left for Bloggy Boot Camp in Chicago, held by the SITS Girls. Stopped at Dekalb Oasis, and to my intense surprise, I shunned McDonalds. Never happens. Instead, I was seriously craving Panda Express Chicken Potstickers. I HAD TO HAVE THEM. But I can’t have potstickers without soy sauce, and didn’t think I had time to sit and eat in Oasis and make myself a target for a traveling serial rapist, so I ate in my car, always a great idea. Of course, I ended up with soy sauce in a nice stripe down the side of my jeans. I managed to get the spot out, but upon approaching Chicago realized that some of the soy sauce likely spilled on the seat, rolled downward, and probably ended up in the crack of my ass, thus giving the appearance that I had some sort of bowel dysfunction, or better yet, got my period in the car about 6 hours ago. I figured out in my hotel bathroom that it didn’t happen, but I had about an hour of serious concern, while my Garmin told me to make U-Turns in downtown Chicago.  This is the view from the room Jason at the Wacker Hyatt gave me. I love Jason.


That afternoon, after Bloggy Boot Camp had started and I met my first round of 10 tablemates, I discovered that Chicken Potstickers make one belch toxic waste, not once, but about a 100 times. Surprisingly, I didn’t make any lasting friendships at that table.

No one is looking at me.  Look at me! *belch*
(Maybe don’t after all.)

Oh, another gem – upon approaching the conference room, I met a gal who was clearly going to the same conference. I said, “So, do you have a blog?” by way of greeting, and she looked at me somewhat incredulously. I laughed nervously and said, “You know, since we’re going to a Blogging Conference, I’m assuming you don’t have one.” Fortunately, she laughed, and said, “Yeah, I’m just coming here to learn how to turn on my computer” or something like that. Whee!  I love making new friends! I made up for it later by stealing sushi off of her plate.

I met some amazingly terrific bloggers and writers, and let me tell you, these chicks are HARDCORE. They know exactly what they are doing and have social media and branding by the tail. I was so impressed by everyone I met, that I’m going to start promoting blogs I love on ADITW.  Every Monday, I’m going to try to consistently post a few blogs I think you should check out, because really, there is some awesomeness going on. They are media ninjas.

11/3 – I spent the day attending the blog conference and complaining in my head about how I got my period early.  Oh let’s be honest. I said it out loud to anyone who would stand still long enough to listen.


11/4 – Home from Chicago, attended The Son’s orchestra concert, and realized that he is now suddenly a man. Dang. How did that happen?

11/5 – Monday, I’m trying to forget it happened. Post Traumatic Monday Disorder.

11/6 – Election Day. Got to vote openly, without being forced to wear a burqa or get patted down by militia. I can vote knowing that whether or not my guy wins, we will still be safe in the morning and don’t have to fear for our lives, and if it doesn’t turn out how we like we can start trying again in four years.  We have our issues, people, but the United States is still one of the best countries around. I’m staying.

11/7 – Today. I was out driving around doing things for work and got a Wendy’s Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger and a root beer, and I didn’t make it to work out. But I’m just not sure why I’m not losing weight. Any suggestions?

TONIGHT – I FINALLY finished Stephen King’s 11/22/63.  It’s nearly 900 pages, but DANG. A good read. And a thinker as well. But it was becoming a burden unfinished, so I’m glad I’ve got it under my belt now.

And that gets us all caught up!  I’ll be at a hooker reception at the airport on Friday night, I’ll take a couple of pictures. Hope you’re all having a great week!  Hurry Friday! RUN!


1 Comment

  1. You had quite a full week…. I read “Full Dark, No Stars” this week ( i think its new too, i got it at the grocery store…)… Now I am reading, for the first time, Cujo…

    Did I mention that Last Week, my SK Library went from 23 to 27??

    And now that you are done with 11/22/63, wanna send it to Madison so I can borrows it and read it??? I would loves you forever!!