Every summer, I try to organize a little family trip. It’s generally something that is driveable, because Current Husband hates flying, but Youngest Daughter gets carsick, so someone is going to be unhappy. This can also substitute as a mantra for parenting: “Someone Is Going To Be Unhappy.” Two summers ago we drove to St. Louis when it was 110 degrees and they wouldn’t let people ride up in the Arch because there was concern that the metal was expanding because of the heat, and because there was concern that the little pod one rides to the top in would break down and get stuck at the top of the Arch with people trapped inside at 110 degree heat. We happily stayed on the ground. We also took in a Cardinals game when it was 98 degrees at 9 p.m. Last summer, we drove to Atlanta in the middle of a huge heat wave, and stopped in Nashville on the way back when it was over 100 degrees. This did not, however, slow down my stalking of the Black Keys or Jack White, because as I told the children, “Good Stalkers Never Quit.”
This summer, I tried to organize a little family trip up to Minneapolis. It would’ve been right on track with our other family trips, with record-breaking heat, but something happened: Baseball.
For the record? When he’s pitching,
I have a hard time watching. I’m a freak.
For the past three years, The Son has been involved in our local youth baseball league. We don’t do traveling teams because I don’t have that kind of money or commitment, and I know he isn’t going pro. This is just the local kids’ league, which he loves and at two games and a practice a week is teetering on the upper edge of my commitment level. Every year, the schedule comes out and says the season is over around June 21, and every year I forget they have a tournament after it. By that time, we’ve been doing baseball three times a week since the beginning of May, and stick a fork in me, by July 1 I AM DONE. I know there are parents who LOVE baseball, and want it to go all summer long, but I am one of the bad seeds. I love watching The Son play. I love seeing him happy. What I don’t love? Telling The Daughters that they can’t have 4 Kona Ice cups, or that we still have an hour left in a heat wave of 107 (Saturday’s game) to sit on a dusty, un-shaded ball field, or that we have to cancel our family trip because our team is in a tournament through the weekends before and after July 4, thus negating any trip time. You might be saying to yourself, ”Oh, just take your vacation and quit your yapping, no one is keeping you here!” but if you are saying that, then you have never talked to a Baseball Mom whose son is going to have to forfeit their game because someone else took their kid on vacation.
#4 Thing Which Scares Me This Week: Baseball Moms
They will gut you like a fish. That’s right, I’m scared. I should be.
#3 Thing Which Scares Me This Week: Driver’s Ed
Oldest Daughter says she is not ready to start Driver’s Ed on July 16. I’m not ready for her to start Driver’s Ed on July 16. The Quad Cities’ Metro Area is not ready for her to start Driver’s Ed on July 16. The World is not ready for her to start Driver’s Ed on July 16. But I’m desperate for a driver, so off she goes.
#2 Thing Which Scares Me This Week: School Starting in 35 days
Got my school registration packet in the mail. It is due by the end of this month, and Target has school supplies out all lush and sexy in their Special Target Room. Not only will I be at a hooker convention for the first week of school, school registration packets mean Volunteer Opportunities, and the chance to show the world what a disorganized, B-grade mother you really are. Missed assignments! Forgotten treat days! The only parent who doesn’t send the teacher the special apple your child was supposed to fill out for them during Teacher Appreciation Week! The last parent to show up at the Winter Sing, and without her camera, no less! Yes, other mothers, I am here for you to make you look good. You’re welcome. And Fourth Grade Teacher…I believe you may be reading this….let’s just start the year with The Annual Apology. I’m sorry.
#1 Thing Which Scares Me This Week: The Full-Time Job
…to which I am returning after five lovely, lovely days off. I’ll miss you, sangria and sleeping in! Au revoir, time with my children! Hello, figuring out which outfit doesn’t need to be ironed because I’m running late, again. *sigh*
Hope y’all had a terrific Fourth of July, and that you didn’t melt in the heat wave and your power is on. Onward to cooler days!