This morning at 6:20 a.m., I drove Oldest Daughter to a high school to catch a bus to the International Thespian Festival. Where would one likely FIND an INTERNATIONAL Thespian Festival? Well in Lincoln, Nebraska, OF COURSE.
Home page, lest ye think I’m lying.
It was not helpful to me, or calming to Current Husband, that I dropped her off to board a large bus in the middle of a monsoon. How many cautionary tales do we hear on the news – “Busload of kids on field trip falls off of overpass on I-95″ – and then you are going to load your child on a bus and whistle a happy tune? Oh hell no. I threw her luggage in the bottom of the bus while she ran on it, I was soaked, and drove away thinking “I hope someone checked the driver’s record in thunderstorms!”
Later in the day, I did one of my quick Facebook checks to see what is going on in the world, and lo and behold, all of my Mount Vernon, IA friends are posting pics of themselves in the basement because of a tornado warning! WHAT THE WHAT?!?! I tell my boss and the other marketing manager, since they’re in offices with a plate glass window, and then I text home to see what is up there. Current Husband is home with The Son, Youngest Daughter, and George the Superpet, and he tells me they are in the basement. The company president then comes around and tells everyone to get in the computer room in the center of the building because we are under a tornado warning, and it could be heading for us. As I get into the computer room with my co-workers, I get this text from CH:
WTF? SERIOUSLY DUDE. WTF.
Because I sort of need you alive to take care of the kids until I can get out of this computer room, which I hope explains my panic typos. His typos are from the electricity running through his body. It immediately made me think of Caddyshack when the bishop is out golfing in the storm (Don’t judge me. Judge Smails me, that is.)
Richard Richards: Better come in till this blows over.
Bishop: What do you think, fella?
Carl Spackler: I’d keep playing. I don’t think the heavy stuff’s gonna come down for quite awhile.
Bishop: You’re right. Anyway, the Good Lord would never disrupt the best game of my life.
Bishop: [as he misses a putt on the 18th hole during the thunderstorm] OH, RAT FART!
[he holds up his club and is hit by lightning... Carl drops the golf bag and leaves him there]
So thankfully everyone is okay and my house didn’t burn down. However. Mother Nature? You and I? Not on good terms right now. Knock this shit off.