Conversation at our table tonight:
Youngest Daughter: “Mom, I have this homework sheet for school, I need to start doing the things in these boxes.”
ME: “Great. I love homework that involves extra activities. What are we doing?”
YD: “Not much. It says you can read to me while I’m taking a bath, but since I don’t take a bath and won’t let you in when I’m showering, that’s out.”
ME: “Relief. What else?”
YD: “Here’s Plant a flower and watch it grow.”
ME: “But since it is still below zero, I don’t think we can dig a hole in the tundra. Next.”
YD: “Find some facts about Daylight Savings Time.”
ME: “What class is this for?”
BOTH OF US: ?????
YD: “This one sounds creepy. Take your child to the park and count the children.”
ME: “See how many kids fit in your van. Tell them there is candy.”
YD: “Or puppies and free One Direction CD’s.”
OLDEST DAUGHTER, WITHOUT LOOKING UP FROM HER PHONE: “See how many you can fit in your van and then drive away as fast as you can to the next state and then you get to the airport and you fly to Mexico where another unmarked van will be waiting for you. Put the children in the second van and drive to the capitol building and talk to no one. Sell them all. Tomorrow, go bowling.”
OD: “You started it. This is your DNA talking now, sister.”
And that’s how we do homework at our house. I’m feeling confident that it will be a long time before either of my girls get married.